


The Dreams That Haunt Us

by mrpicard



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Next Generation (Movies)
Genre: Dorks in Love, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Gay, Husbands, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Marriage, Nightmares, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 22:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14861549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpicard/pseuds/mrpicard
Summary: Alex has a very, very bad dream.





	The Dreams That Haunt Us

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a long time, and much of this is due to the fact that, in recent months, there has been an increase in homophobia directed at me by (male) Trek fans who somehow seem to think they own Jean-Luc Picard and have the right to determine who is allowed to love him (women) and who isn't (men). I felt that the only way for me to be able to write again would be to confront this homophobia in one of my stories. Sorry if this one isn't as fluffy as my usual Picard/Alex stuff, but I NEEDED to get this out of my system. I hope it will clear the air and I will be able to write again at some point.
> 
> This ficlet also references [the Dixon Hill adventure part](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823570/chapters/11046038) of my "In These Arms" series.
> 
> **WARNING: THIS FICLET MIGHT BE TRIGGERING. APPROACH WITH CAUTION.**

  
Ow.

Headache.  
  
Great.

Just great.

I open my eyes - and wish I hadn't done so.  
  
I recognize sickbay, but it's not sickbay, and takes me a few moments to realize why: It _is_ sickbay, just not the one I should be in.  
  
It's a Galaxy-class sickbay.  
  
What?!  
  
"Welcome back," a voice next to me suddenly remarks.  
  
I turn my head into its direction and find myself face to face with a smiling Jean-Luc.  
  
He's wearing the wrong uniform, yes, but otherwise he seems fine.  
  
"What's... what's going on?" I manage to croak.  
  
"I'm sorry about this, but I had to sedate you for a while."  
  
"Huh?" I ask, my panic levels rising since none of this is right, neither Jean-Luc's apparent new job as CMO nor his unnervingly pleasant smile.  
  
I try to move, but I'm not getting very far - they might be a little outdated by now, but sickbay force fields aboard Galaxy-class starships are still something else.  
  
"What the hell, Jean-Luc?" I bark.  
  
"It's 'Captain Picard', not 'Jean-Luc' - this is an exact part of the problem we're facing when it comes to you."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? You're my husband!"  
  
He shakes his head, but the strange smile never leaves his face. "No, I'm not. We are not married, and we can't ever be. "  
  
"What?"  
  
He reaches out his hand and then holds up a hypo in front of me. "We thought Khan Noonien Singh's Eugenics program had eradicated all traces of homosexuality in humans, but it keeps coming back. It did so for you - but, fortunately, there is now a completely painless cure for this mental defect."  
  
"Defect? Excuse me?!"  
  
He sighs. "Yes. A defect. Homosexuality is unnatural, and really, I do _not_ approve of you having those feelings for me even though I know you can't help them." His hand with the hypo moves closer. "I promise you will feel _much_ better after this - you will be attracted to women only, like I and every other human male are - you will have a wonderful life with a wife and children, just like it was always meant to be."  
  
I still have no idea what's going on, but I want the hell out of here.  
  
Jean-Luc still smiles pleasantly while the hypo gets closer and closer, and somehow the force field becomes stronger and stronger, and -  
  
"Alexander! Wake up!"  
  
I open my eyes a second time - and this _time_ the sight is a lot more pleasant: I'm not in any kind of sickbay, I'm in our bed in our quarters, and Jean-Luc is looking down at me worriedly.  
  
"Wha... wha..."  
  
"You had a nightmare," he says gently and lets go of my shoulders.  
  
I slowly sit up and rub my eyes. "Oh, crap..."  
  
Jean-Luc stays quiet for a few moments but then he clears his throat. "I... erm... I'm aware that normally our situations are reversed, with _you_ waking _me_ up from one of my nightmares... so... maybe this is why I am very much aware of the fact that talking about it helps to get over it more quickly."  
  
"You could simply have asked 'hey, what happened'", I remark, half-amused despite the seriousness of the situation.  
  
He chuckles softly and then sits up as well. "Please. Tell me."  
  
"It wasn't that much... I was in sickbay aboard the Enterprise-D, and you tried to cure me from loving you."  
  
"What?" Jean-Luc asks, confusion written all over his face.  
  
I sigh. "It's my own damn fault - I shouldn't have read all those historical documents about the way homosexuality was viewed centuries ago."  
  
"The research you did because of our recent visit to my Dixon Hill program...?"  
  
"Yup. I wanted a better impression of what things were like back then for people like us. I didn't exactly get a nice picture, and the thing that creeped me out the most was the belief some people had that homosexuality is an illness and needs to be 'cured'. They subjected gay people to the most horrible torture in the name of purity and rightfulness."  
  
"Humanity has no reason to be proud of a lot of aspects concerning its past," Jean-Luc remarks.  
  
"We sure don't. I'm pretty certain that, if I had lived in that time, there would have been a lot of people who would have told me how disgusting I am for loving you. Guess that's why you were the one who tried to cure me."  
  
Jean-Luc reaches out his hand and takes mine. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything, it was just a dream. Besides, _you_ would have been a target as well back then - the purists didn't look kindly at people who felt love was more important than the question of someone's gender."  
  
He squeezes my hand. "I'm glad things changed and humanity came to embrace the fact that love comes in many shapes and forms."  
  
"Me, too. I just wish we could tell that to the people in the past. Things must have looked pretty hopeless for them."  
  
"Most likely, yes." Jean-Luc gently pulls me towards him. "If I remember correctly, however, many of them stood up and fought for what we perceive as granted these days, and as long as we do not forget _that_ struggle, we honor their legacy."  
  
"This is exactly why I didn't want for you to adjust the Dixon Hill program to today's standards, by the way."  
  
"The question of whether we should subject ourselves to homophobia just for the sake of holographic program accuracy is a discussion for another day - but I do hope you know that I understand your reasoning."  
  
"I know." I lean back slightly, enjoying the feeling of his strong shoulders supporting me. "I love you, Jean-Luc."  
  
He kisses my cheek. "And I love you, Alexander."


End file.
